Our birth story
I have debated about whether or not to write this post and finally decided to share my experience with the world.
We had two different due dates, one from our fertility doctor based on size and one from our OBGYN based on date of last period. We had decided that if we went one week past OBGYN due date that we were going to be induced. With the pandemic still in full force, we wanted to be in as much control as we could be if possible.
I had been dilated to a 3 for two weeks at this point. On Monday, I had been having mild contractions. My parents were up at our house that night and I had made dinner. The whole time we were timing them. By the time we went to bed, I had been having these contractions for 2 hours between 5-7 minutes apart. They weren’t super aggressive, but I was worried that if I fell asleep, we would wake up and not have time to make it to the hospital before she came. (Logically, yes, I know that’s not how it happens. But at this point there is no logic.) Soo after a full sobbing break down, we decide to drive to the hospital just to check on everything. We were there for a couple hours with no progress, still at a three and only mild contractions. So they gave me a sleeping pill and sent us home.
At the doctors visit the next day, I just knew when she checked me she was going to break my water on accident. I was certain that I would be calling Rhett to tell him to meet me at the hospital. And yet, I was still only a 3.. I went home angry and legit laid in bed the rest of the day.
We went to bed with the realization that this stubborn child was going to make us physically evict her.
I woke up the next morning at 5 because I absolutely had to pee. When I laid back down I could not get comfortable to save my life. As I laid there, I realized I was having a contraction. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, but a few minutes later another one hit. I opened my phone to scroll Insta, since I obviously wasn’t going back to sleep anytime soon. About 30 minutes later, and quite a few contractions, I decided I better start timing these. They were getting more intense and pretty consistent. For the next hour the contractions were 3-5 minutes apart and getting pretty aggressive. So I got up, took a warm shower and got ready because this baby was definitely coming today!
Rhett’s alarm went off at 7 and I was standing next to the bed. I said “hey, you want to go have a baby today?” He was like wait for real? I told him he had 15 minutes to get ready before I decided to drive myself!
Of course, once we got checked in and they checked my I was only dilated to a 4.. well you don’t get to go to the delivery floor until you are 5 cm or your water is broke. So we walked. And walked. And walked some more. For a little over an hour I walked hallway with a mask on. We were officially moved to the delivery floor around 11. I hadn’t been 100% sure I wanted an epidural until now. I was uncomfortable and anxious and knew that the epidural would relax me enough to enjoy the process. I got the goods at about 12:30 and sent Rhett for our bags and for him to eat some lunch! Nothing exciting happens until about 5:30 when our doctor came in to break my water. At that point, I was dilated to an 8. One hour later we hit 10 and started “practice pushing” to get the baby dropped into place for delivery! Edith Rose was born at 7:12 after pushing for 3 contractions. She had big lungs and was so beautiful! I got to hold her for just a few minutes before I started to feel sick. And that’s when it got tricky.
I started to feel sick so I passed baby girl back to the nurse so I could get a, for lack of a more attractive word, puke bag. I didn’t really know what was happening. I just knew that I was super nauseous and the room was full of people all of a sudden. I looked over at Rhett and could tell that something was wrong. He was totally calm, but his eyes were on high alert. I started getting stuck with all sorts of IVs and needles, which let me just say was THE WORST! I’m not a fan of needles to begin with, but when you start putting them in my hands, I get real aggressive. Come to find out I was hemorrhaging, which isn’t that uncommon. The difference in my case, was that they couldn’t get it to stop. They inserted a balloon to get my uterus to contract in order to stop the bleeding. It contracted, but actually pushed the balloon back out and I was still bleeding. They tried that one more time and it did the same thing. Each time they inserted the balloon, they would push on my stomach to encourage my body to contract. And every time they did that, I would get sick.
I remember them saying they needed more blood and faster because I was getting more and more pale. I straight up said, “I’m totally fine! I came in here super pale!” After the second balloon didn't work, the doctor told us they were going to give my body a second to catch up with all of the medicine they were pumping into me, to see if it would stop the bleeding on it’s own. If that didn’t work, we were going to have to go into emergency surgery with a possible hysterectomy. I looked over at Rhett. He told me that no matter what happened here, we would find a way to build our family. However, thankfully, my body took over and contracted and the bleeding finally stopped.
It took a total of about 2 hours for them to get the bleeding under control. I was so loopy and thankfully couldn’t feel anything from the waist down (Thank the sweet lord for epidurals!). Rhett had held my hand and my leg up (my stirrup broke about 30 minutes in) the entire time. Edee was snuggled and loved on by all of the nurses. We finally got to call our parents and show her off and reassure everyone that we were both okay. I was SOO swollen because of all of the liquids they had to pump into me. But for me the worst was the panic attack that came about an hour after everything settled down. I still couldn’t feel my legs so I wasn’t able to move. I felt trapped. Then the even more wonderful part came. They had to come into the room every 15 minutes for 2 hours to push on my stomach to get all of the excess blood out and to make sure that I wouldn’t start bleeding again. It was beyond painful. Legit the worst pain I have ever felt. However, when all was said and done, I was up and moving by 4am when we got moved to our post delivery room.
We stayed in the hospital until Friday afternoon. By that time, I felt mostly like myself and was beyond ready to go home and have everyone meet little miss!
I wanted to sit down and write all of this because I felt like everything that I read before hand was either scary or too chill. Nothing matched my story.
So here are the things that I want to say.
You have the choice to not make a decision about an epidural until you are there in the moment. Listen to your body.
Everyone’s story is different. That’s what makes it special.
Yes, it hurts. For me, it wasn’t near as bad as I thought it was going to. I had heard so many stories..
You’re probably going to tear and that is perfectly normal. For me, I didn't really notice it until it was about 4-5 weeks healed. Then it got.. itchy. And sore. I kept Dermaplast on it and took plenty of warm baths.
Ice packs and high waisted “control top” underwear are key. You want to feel like all your bits are being held where they are supposed to be!
And lastly, for me, it was important that I at least took a shower every day. I would put her in her bouncer in the bathroom with me or lay her in her bassinet when she was napping. It made me feel like I was a little more myself.