I have some major news!

We have been keeping a pretty big secret for the past few months and I have been bursting at the seams!

We are having a baby!

Holy moly this has been the hardest and most amazing secret of my whole life! We are beyond excited and so grateful!

Grateful because this has been quite the journey for us. Grateful that we have made it this far. Grateful for how much joy this has already brought our families!

Most people know that Rhett and I have been together for half of our lives. We are major planners. Sooo long story short, we went to school, graduated, got jobs, bought a house, got married. All the things. In May of 2018, we decided we were ready to grow our little family. Little did we know that it wasn’t going to be that easy for us. When you are as serious about planning as we are, you assume that when you decide to do something that it will just fall into place and happen. We tried the old fashioned way for a year before we decided to get some professional help. Another thing you probably know if you know me at all, I am not the most patient person in the world, so this had already taken a year longer than I wanted. When we started talking to our infertility specialist, we were so glad to know that we were in control. We told him how anxious we were. He walked us through all of the options and how those would change as we went through the process.

And then the process actually began. And y’all, I am here to tell you that it is hard. It was hard on us, on our emotions, and our hope. I know that sounds horrible because some people go through this for so much longer than we did. It was hard because we watched so many of our close friends get pregnant and have babies. It was hard because it was terribly unfair to be upset when all I wanted to do was share in their happiness. But I would see a post or see their sweet families and fall deeper into this sadness. So I decided to completely separate the two experiences. I told myself “you can be happy with them, while still working through our own fertility challenges”. So I focused on what I could control. I read so many articles about what to eat, drink, do to help with fertility. Took so many ovulation tests. Sat in that doctors office 3-4 times a month.

I have struggled with anxiety for many years. Then when you are going through something like this and you have no control over your body, your emotions, it flares up big time. The stress of unknowing and wanting so badly for each month to be our month was hard. People told us to be patient. That it would happen when it was the right time. Just to have faith and be still. Let me be the one to tell you. That’s is much easier said than done. They say it all out of love and out of wanting to protect you. When you look back on it, you will eventually realize that the likely hood that they or someone else they are close to went through infertility or miscarriage. They know how hard this can be. This is one of those things that people don’t talk about. It has bad juju surrounding it. That’s why I am writing our entire journey down. Not just the perfect post saying that we are pregnant. I know how hard it can be to see those posts when you are trying. Then when you are on the “other side” of this journey, you realize how many people you are close to have gone through this privately. I can guarantee you that it is what more than you would ever know.

So onto one of the happiest days of my life. I was a week late for my period. This wasn’t unusual. Before starting our fertility treatments, my periods had been abnormal since getting off birth control. I had been late before, taken the pregnancy test, and was broken when it had come back negative. So I waited. One morning before Rhett had left for work, I just knew. I took the test and could tell that it was positive before I even sat it down to wait those three agonizing minutes. We squealed like little girls for a solid 5 minutes! I called the doctor, took the blood tests, and confirmed that we had finally done it!

We started plotting the most fun ways to tell our families! We got our first ultrasound at just 6 weeks on December 23rd. It was unreal. We listened to the heartbeat and got to see our little peanut for the first time. That day the doctor told us that he felt comfortable with us telling our families even though it was early. We decided to tell our families by putting the sweetest pair of booties and our ultrasound picture in a box. We made it the final gift in one of those super fun Christmas games where you wrap a whole bunch of layers of gifts and each person has to unwrap with oven mitts while on a timer. It was so stinking fun. My sister in law was the one to open the box. It took about 1.75 seconds for everyone at the table to realize what was happening. Cue the water works for all of us. We have all been waiting and praying for this for so many years. It was one of the most special moments of my life.

We are expecting our little peanut in August of 2020 and literally cannot wait. And just to add to the craziness of all of this, we aren’t finding out the gender. Why start now trying to control or plan? It will all happen in the right timing. It will always turn out the way it’s supposed to. And until then, find someone you can talk to. Spouse, doctor, friend, it doesn’t matter. Someone that will understand and help you through the bad days and cry with you on the good days.